He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
