Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
