don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
