You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize