I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
