I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
40s are totally the cure
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Randomize
