Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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