You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
