goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
