College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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