No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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