yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
