we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
