I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
