I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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