Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
God I need to hump something, right now.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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