dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
