He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
