just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
