I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
