did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
