"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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