Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
