My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
