problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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