Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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