Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
false alarm, still single
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