Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
