I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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