I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Your penis caused this!
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