I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
my liver is dry heaving
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
