he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
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