I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
