so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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