This is not my ceiling
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
