Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
