Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
