11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
