Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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