we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
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