my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
