Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
