Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
