i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
