then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
