Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
