Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
