Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Randomize
