Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
