Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
