im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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